To grow up

I wanted to grow up, become the elder one I used to idolise. Father, mother, elder sister… Their busy- Ness amazed me. Their capabilities to decide, their control over situations used to amaze me. I spent times wondering my actions when I will be what they are. When I will be what they couldn’t be as well, perhaps. Time spent wondering brought the time to action. I was unprepared.. As I was wondering only. I wasn’t informed about what their struggles were. How hard was it to take a decision. A decision which affected lives, theirs and others as well. Why didn’t they share earlier that behind their decisiveness laid so much of stress, thought process, fear of failure, uncertainty of success and what not! I now realize it wasn’t their age that made them elder to me, it was their ability to take responsibility for their actions, their strength to take risks, their willingness to explore and prove their abilities that made them elder. Respectful. I still want to grow up and still want to become the elder one with the said abilities.